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meladoodle:

rodneykong:

if she’s even able to walk after sex you didnt do it right

yeah you’re supposed to cut her legs off 

(via relahvant)

unconflated:

life goals: become so hot people make fan blogs about me. 

(via orgasm)

souljannoying:

one time i got a fish and my dad made me name it james pond

(Source: pemsylvania, via teenscoolest)

andrvw:

black licorice isn’t a candy it’s a punishment 

(via pazrascon)

homoish:

I hate that feeling you get in your stomach when you see him. No, not butterflies. I’m talking about that need for dick so much it actually hurts in your stomach

(via cumfort)

booforce:

my friend who snorts cocaine won’t eat cookie dough because it’s bad for you

(Source: biforce, via orgasm)